Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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