Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
