I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
