last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
