he shaved USA in his pubs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
