you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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