yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
