I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?