Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.