We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
