I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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