spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
