dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
