ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
please come you make the beer taste better
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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