he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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