the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
