He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wakey wakey hands off snakey
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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