Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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