mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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