i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
