i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
