i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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