just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Randomize
