I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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