I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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