I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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