i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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