so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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