sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
