I bet he comes in French.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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