pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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