everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
