I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need water and some morals
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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