Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm passing your future prison.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
