I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
