that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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