sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
