in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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