God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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