god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
