Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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