Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
me + whiskey = a bad person
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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