you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
