I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
