Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry about my life...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
