I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
