Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
