I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
