those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
