FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize