i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont even know how to be here
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
