Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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