I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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