I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
