we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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