Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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