I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
