what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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