did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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