i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
