he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize