we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How does one acquire holy water?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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