What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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