They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
