I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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