guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
