you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
