I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
