i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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