We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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